Tuesday, April 7, 2015

It's all relative.

Note: The following post was written July 8, 2014

I remember one day when I was in 3rd grade. It was grandparents day and my mom, Grandma Bebe, and I were in class. They were invited to our class for the day. After the festivities were over, I realized I had forgotten to do my homework. I repeat...I had forgotten to do my homework. If you know me at all, you know that is not me at all. I was basically in tears because I forgot to do one measly 3rd grade assignment. How little and inconsequential that one assignment was in the grand scheme of life.

In 7th grade, I made one B. One B the whole year. Do I even need to tell you how sad I was?

Flash forward to my senior year in college - it was finals in the fall semester. I had 4 finals that required a lot of work- I was still finishing my reading for Shakespeare the night before the final. Don't even get me started on Non-Euclidean Geometry.... .I felt like I'd never make it to Christmas break. There were some long nights at the library. Christmas break seemed so far and somehow it came. And I passed and everything worked out.

I am the type of student (and teacher) that always gets anxious before the first day of school. I am the type of student that still has school-gone-bad dreams. I have (I repeat: currently have) a reoccurring dream that I am in college and forget to attend math class all semester. And it's the end of the semester and I'm failing...

So here I am 3 days before my dissertation is "due" for committee distribution and I feel yet again that I will never make it to the other side of  this wall....that these 3 days will never end. That I'll never graduate. And yet all that stands between me and the end are a few days...albeit long days, but a few days just the same.

So it's all relative, right? What I thought was the end of the world in 4th grade sure did feel like it to me. And it wasn't. What I thought was the end of the world in fall 05, sure felt like it to me.  But it wasn't. I finished. I passed. And right now, in this place, my head knows that this too shall pass... and like most things in life...it will all be ok.

And once it's over...you'll all have to call me Dr.

Thanks and gigem.